Sodom & Gonorrhea Loots Surfaced on Dance-Floor at Buckingham Palace in Form of Tim Landon’s None-DNA Kid £200million Arthur Landon, 29. Girl-Magnet-My-Ass. Qaboos Paid his Gigolo Toyboy Bitch Tim Landon £484million Alimony. Tim Landon Bedded Qaboos for 3 years during his Majesty’s Professional English Butlers Curriculum in Sandhurst. Aside from Chewing Testicles and Munching Feces Tim Landon had Qaboos shoot his father Said bin Timur and let him Die alone in Dorchester Hotel. Tim Landon Purchased Austro-Hungarian Princess Katalina Esterhazy de Galantha & her kid Arthur title as a ticket to get into Windsor Fuckocrasy. Tim Landon was Stooopid liar and he had something to talk about that ain’t Safe. Tim Landon was Canadian Faggot Picked from Earls Court Gay District to Giglo Qaboos in Sandhurst that’s the truth. Got rich more the Queen then enterprising his own genitals for big money. Damn it. Qaboos has to kill his father to please Timothy Boy. Tim Landon died of Synthetic Cancer in his £484million Worth Genitals.
And now to the Anglosexual Cuckoos, the Mayhem, and the Misinformation!
To The Daily Mail Bitch Catherine Ostler.. Here you go.
WHITE SULTAN’S HEIR
ARTHUR LANDON, 29
Now William has been snapped up, his film-maker friend Arthur Landon could reasonably claim to be the most eligible young man in Britain, so he will be a girl magnet on the dancefloor at the wedding reception at Buckingham Palace. With a fortune estimated at £200million, he is the product of a glamorous union between Austro-Hungarian Princess Katalina Esterhazy de Galantha (she’s invited, too) and the late Brigadier Tim Landon — known as the White Sultan or Landon of Arabia.
A former SAS officer, Tim made his fortune in the Seventies in Boy’s Own fashion when he helped his Sandhurst friend Qaboos bin Said Al Said overthrow his father, the reigning despot of Oman. Paid handsomely by Qaboos, Tim bought the village of Faccombe in Hampshire, plus more than 11,000 acres of grouse moor in Scotland and North Yorkshire. Gregarious Arthur has hosted black-tie shoot dinners for the young royal set, with snooker and vodka shots. Despite his frequent visits to London nightspots such as Whisky Mist, Boujis and Public, Arthur is not a total layabout. He’s made advertisements for the preppy outfitters Jack Wills and is trying to get several other film-making projects off the ground. He can certainly fund them.
THE SPENDTHRIFT SULTAN
QABOOS BIN SAID AL SAID, 70
The Sultan of Oman, Qaboos bin Said Al Said (pictured below), is probably the most ardent royalist in the world. He has been described as a ‘classy despot’ because, though he doesn’t permit any criticism of himself, he adores the Queen, plays the lute, owns the world’s only camel-mounted bagpipe band and presides over a stable Arab country. When the Queen and Prince Philip made a state visit to his kingdom last autumn, he broke protocol to meet them at the airport. Though a relatively popular ruler, he hasn’t been unaffected by the Arab uprisings. After demonstrations last month, he swiftly moved some law-making powers from the royal family to two councils. Look out for the wedding present, because the Sultan is a big spender. For her state visit, he gave the Queen an 1ft-high, 21-carat gold engraved vase and a Faberge-style egg containing a musical carousel of horses. She gave him the Royal Victorian Chain (an award only she can bestow), a silver-framed, signed photo and a book — on clocks.
Don’t bother about the rest. It is right here. http://tinyurl.com/428pmtg